Here’s a conversation that I’ve had when meeting a stranger:
Me: Hey there, sorry I’m late! I had a funeral that went longer than I expected.
Them: Oh no! I’m so sorry to hear that. How are you doing?
Me: I’m doing great! It was a great funeral; I feel like it really went well.
Them: …
Me: Oh, don’t worry! He lived a long time, and his family had some really good things to say about him.
Me: Oh, yeah, I forgot to mention that I’m a pastor…
Being a pastor can be a weird gig, and I sometimes forget that not everyone can say, “Meditating on the fact of death” is part of their job description. Being a pastor has led me to forget, occasionally, that people actually don’t like thinking about death all that much. But that’s also part of what makes being a pastor such a special job. There are very few places in our society where we talk so much about death. And not just the existence of death, but how the reality of death helps us define how we live.
The Church is a place where we have an entire special day centered around remembering that we will die. Ash Wednesday is that day. It’s not a pleasant reminder, per se, but it is one that lends significance and meaning to the lives that we lead. It’s a scary topic. Not fun; but important. But the more we talk about it, the less scary it might seem. The more we talk about death, the more comfortable we are talking about death.
Maybe I’ve gotten a bit too comfortable talking about death, but I know more dead people than most people my age. I’ve talked with people about the death of their parent. I’ve talked with people about the death of their child. I’ve talked with people about the death of their pet. I’ve talked with people about their own death. It has taken time and practice, but I am more comfortable than ever talking about death. People usually only want to talk about death when the conversation is forced on them. When that happens, I am humbled by the opportunity to help walk folks through that conversation.
I still don’t like death. Even if I can talk about it, that doesn’t mean that I am any more prepared for it than anyone else. But I also know I have people in my life who also talk about death, and knowing that they’re there for when I’m unable to speak is a comfort in and of itself.
Peace,
Rev. Jeff Fox-Kline
If you're looking for a Presbyterian church in Rochester, NY that's inclusive and supportive, you are welcome and encouraged to join us! Visit us online by going to our website, Facebook, and YouTube, or visit us in person! Twelve Corners Presbyterian Church is located at 1200 S. Winton Road in the heart of Brighton, NY. If you have any questions, call our office at 585-244-8585 or email us through our secure contact form. We look forward to connecting with you!
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